Wear Your Voice
By: Amanda Morrissey
In September 2015, I started walking strangely. Just the odd stumble, like I was trying to walk upright on a boat. I went to a doctor who said, after a 5-minute consultation, I had an aftereffect of a virus. I walked out to my car and burst into tears. I knew something was wrong, but if a doctor wasn’t concerned by it, I probably shouldn’t be. So I pushed it away from my mind.
After a few weeks my symptoms had progressed to stumbling around like I was drunk. I also started having bone and joint pain, and a tremor on my right side. I kept feeling exhausted all the time so my husband convinced me to see another doctor. Immediately, she noticed that something was very wrong and thought I had Guillain-Barré syndrome, so I was referred to a neurologist.
By December, my symptoms were so bad I went back to the doctor and she told me to go to the emergency room. What I remember the most was the smell: a mix of bleach and disinfectant. Now when I smell that, I remember that exact moment and how terrified and alone I felt. I had blood tests, a lumbar puncture, and an MRI done, which sounds like your inside a transformer... while it’s transforming.
In January I was diagnosed with Paraneoplastic, which is an autoimmune disease where the body creates an antibody to fight cancer but the antibody gets confused and attacks healthy cells. There are about 30 different types. In my case, I have Paraneoplastic Cerebellar Degeneration. The cerebellum handles speech, walking, balance, coordination, fine movement and now, researchers think it also handles emotional response.
When you become chronically ill or disabled it turns your entire life upside down and I fell into a deep depression for three years. Being sick became my main identifier because my days were spent getting chemotherapy or Intravenous immunoglobulin, IVIG, in bed because I couldn’t move. With my diagnosis, it is common to get cancer, so I wasn’t surprised when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I isolated myself from my friends and family because I’m very self-conscious about my symptoms, mainly because I have difficulty with my speech. I slur my words and I’m very monotonous. Also fatigue and tremor makes socializing difficult. On average a healthy person has around 10 usable hours a day, on a good day I have about 3, then it’s like a light gets turned off.
For three years I struggled and had difficulty coping with my new normal, while I grieved the life I had. I’ve since learned a new way to cope, a healthier way, after therapy, medication, and time. I cope by focusing on something I’m passionate about and which gives me a new purpose. When my husband and I decided to move from the Netherlands to Scotland, because of a looming Brexit, I had to return my government sponsored custom wheelchair and smart drive. So I founded a t-shirts and apparel company called Panda Tees to raise money for an electric wheelchair. My favorite designs, since it’s breast cancer awareness month, is simply called "Boobs." It shows breasts in many forms, from lop sided breast to mastectomy scars. The other is a slogan that says “I’m feeling okay-ish” to normalize feeling okay-ish instead of always putting on a brave face.
After I reach my personal fundraiser goal, I want to continue on and donate a percentage to Eurordis, a non-profit for rare disease awareness and advocacy, which is a subject that is very close to my heart since I have one. I really want to make a difference in people’s lives, I want to support and empower the chronically ill, POC, LGBTQIA+, anyone with disabilities, women and any groups, who are made to feel like they do not belong, or feel like they aren’t important.
My advice is wear your voice and make a difference
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All my life I have been sweating my pants and working my ass off to make a better life for myself . Our society has been designed to make women dependent on men however i was raised by a single parent so that thought me a lot at a very young age . I wasn’t always the brightest in school but I always had a knack for opportunities.. I could always spot an opportunity whenever I see one just like Bitcoin. I started following Bitcoin in 2015 when the price was still very friendly , back then I was just basically investing and HODLING which was going good but sometimes good isn’t good enough so I decided to diversify the market and explore the full potential of Bitcoin to the fullest till I almost lost all of my investments to a fake company I had met on telegram, they go by the name tradeiQ . Actually I lost everything to the fraud company until I got to contact CYBER ASSET RECOVERY for help to have everything retrieved back to my wallet .. All my life, I’ve had to work very hard every single day for my money so I don’t intend to let anyone take anything from me not even a dime !!! …. Today I owe it all to CYBER ASSET RECOVERY for their superior intellectual abilities in how he traced down and recouped back my portfolio balance of $190,300 to my wallet. Truth be told, I have no idea what I would have done without his help and in the end , I give god all the Glory. You can also get in touch with CYBER ASSET RECOVERY via Email: Cyberassetrecovery@protonmail.com or Telegram: @CyberAssetRecovery +1 501 725 1653