By: Clare Amy
‘It’s not the size of the girl in the fight. It’s the size of the fight in the girl.’ However much I love this quote, I think the wording is off. I am currently back on another ship contract after being called out as a last minute replacement to South America and Antarctica. I have never been to either of these places so when I was given the news, I thought: Wow! This is going to be incredible, and how lucky am I to be called to do what I love again! However, while learning all the extra dance material in a short period of time, my skin disorder decided it did not enjoy the challenge. It is the first time in a few years that my skin has ripped and blistered in the way it has these last two weeks. The pain is intense and each time I have to practise the material the blisters rip even more, meaning that at the moment my skin does not get the opportunity to heal. Trying to dance on stage with Epidermolysis Bullosa, as you can feel costumes ripping your skin, is a battle.
We are sailing up towards Buenos Aires now, where the weather is gorgeous and the opportunity for a great pool party is only three days away. Currently, however, I wake up each morning to painful showers that sting the wounds on my feet, hands, stomach, arms and knees. I am smothering myself in a variety of creams to try and force the wounds to heal as quickly as possible. To think that just yesterday I told my friend I was excited for the pool party and now I cannot think of anything worse than having my body on show for other people to see.
I sometimes feel like there is this expectation that because I have had to FIGHT pain for years because of my skin condition and because I have had to GROW UP FASTER to be able to understand why people would stare and ask questions, I am automatically expected to not care what others think of me and be a “strong woman” all the time. On top of that, people assume that when you are a professional performer you are always confident, strong and in total control of your emotions. But sometimes you don’t want to fight anymore, you don’t want to wake up in pain or with the underlying anxiety and embarrassment that comes with having a skin condition like mine.
We live in an age where we are constantly worrying about how other people see us and I am no exception.That is why the wording in the quote is all wrong. Fighting through your life, fighting your feelings and other's reactions is exhausting. Remember you have ONE life. There are some things that are not going to change no matter how much you hate them, no matter how much you cry or pray for things to be different. The only thing you can change is your mindset and the way you deal with what you are given.
So instead of being a girl who fights her way through life, be a girl that embraces her life. That’s why brands like MIGA Swimwear are so important since they understand the everyday struggle that having a skin condition can be. This brand gives us the chance to have a pain-free experience at the pool, in a bathing suit that protects your skin, instead of another FIGHT to manage or challenge your day.
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