Learning to Love
By: Stephanie McDaniel
While vacationing with my family, I had just finished my turn in the hotel bathroom when my daughter, who had come in right after me, started yelling for me to come over. Upon entering, I saw the panic in her eyes as she stood and pointed at all of my hair on the floor. Embarrassed, I started to gather up my hair, as if it was part of the mess I had left behind. That’s when I realized this wasn’t your ‘normal’ hair shedding.
I am 47 years old, and never in my life have I experienced something like this, nor did I have any warning I would experience this as none of my relatives had it.
On April 1st, hoping it was just an April Fool's joke, I was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata Totalis. By Mother’s Day, I had fully transitioned into a wig. Then by the beginning of June, I realized all of my nose and ear hairs were gone, followed by my eyebrows and eyelashes. Hair from all over my body was gone. My diagnosis then became Alopecia Areata Universalis.
The crazy part about all of this is how fast it happened. I had no advance warning to prepare for this. At first, I found myself trying to race to save my hair, as I tried to get in to see as many doctors as I possibly could. I tried supplements and Rogaine. I even started washing my hair with Mane ‘n Tail, a horse shampoo which someone recommended would help thicken my fast thinning hair. Each day I would gather up all of the strands of hair that would fall out, save them in a Ziploc bag and date it. I was desperate, but then as more time passed with no answers, I realized the inevitable. Eventually, I would have no hair left on my body. I wasn’t prepared for this physically or psychologically. I found myself all alone to figure out things I had no clue about, such as where to buy wigs or what type of wigs to buy. All this decision making was emotionally taxing. I turned to my family and friends for help.
Most of the time, I found myself wondering if there was an inflammation in my body that was causing my immune system to turn on my own hair follicles like that. That is a question I am finding no one can answer. After 47 years of life, why is this happening now? I have spent the last few months dealing with feelings of depression, anger, shame, embarrassment, and not knowing what the day was going to bring.
Through it all I have tried to look at the blessings in my life. I may look like I have cancer, but I am extremely blessed that I don’t. I am extremely blessed that I have a husband that loves me unconditionally and continues to smother me with love, making me feel just like the day I married him. I am extremely blessed to have three teenage kids that don’t seem to ever bat an eyelash, whether I am wearing a wig, or nothing at all. They all still give me a kiss and hug every night saying how much they love me.
Above all, I am learning firsthand what I have always taught my kids: “What matters is what is on the inside, and not what is on the outside.” I see my kids, and my husband, living by this every day, but I am not. I am struggling with this. I am having a hard time loving who I am on the outside. It doesn’t get easier to look in the mirror every morning when I wake up, realize I am still bald, and that it wasn’t just a bad dream. Slowly but surely, I am learning to love my new normal but it is hard, and I am learning that that is ok.
Comments
https://saudi-germany.com/ شركة السعودي الالماني للخدمات المنزلية
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d8%aa%d9%86%d8%b8%d9%8a%d9%81-%d8%ae%d8%b2%d8%a7%d9%86%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/ شركات تنظيف خزانات بجدة
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%aa%d9%86%d8%b8%d9%8a%d9%81-%d8%ae%d8%b2%d8%a7%d9%86%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/ تنظيف خزانات بجدة
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%a7%d9%81%d8%b6%d9%84-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d8%aa%d9%86%d8%b8%d9%8a%d9%81-%d8%ae%d8%b2%d8%a7%d9%86%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/ افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%a7%d8%b1%d8%ae%d8%b5-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d8%aa%d9%86%d8%b8%d9%8a%d9%81-%d8%ae%d8%b2%d8%a7%d9%86%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/ ارخص شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%ba%d8%b3%d9%8a%d9%84-%d8%ae%d8%b2%d8%a7%d9%86%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/ غسيل خزانات بجدة
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d8%aa%d9%86%d8%b8%d9%8a%d9%81-%d8%ae%d8%b2%d8%a7%d9%86%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/ شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة
https://saudi-germany.com/cleaning-tanks-company-taif/
https://saudi-germany.com/cleaning-tanks-company-mecca/
https://saudi-germany.com/jumperads-transfer-furniture/
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%a7%d9%81%d8%b6%d9%84-20-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d8%a8%d9%8a%d9%86%d8%a8%d8%b9-%d8%ae%d8%b5%d9%85-50-%d9%85%d8%b9-%d8%a7%d9%84%d9%81%d9%83-%d9%88%d8%a7/
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%a7%d8%b1%d8%ae%d8%b5-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9-%d8%ad%d9%8a-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b5%d9%81%d8%a7/
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%a7%d8%b1%d8%ae%d8%b5-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9-%d8%a7%d8%a8%d8%ad%d8%b1-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b4%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%84%d9%8a%d8%a9/
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%a7%d8%b1%d9%82%d8%a7%d9%85-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9-%d9%85%d8%b9-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%aa%d8%ba%d9%84%d9%8a%d9%81/
https://saudi-germany.com/%d8%a7%d8%b1%d8%ae%d8%b5-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/
شركة سكاي لخدمات نقل العفش والاثاث بالمنطقة العربية السعودية نحن نوفر خدمات نقل اثاث بالرياض ونقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة ونقل عفش بمكة ونقل عفش بالطائف نحن نقدم افضل نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط ونقل عفش بجدة
https://treeads.net/ شركة سكاي نقل العفش
https://treeads.net/blog.html مدونة لنقل العفش
https://treeads.net/movers-mecca.html شركة نقل عفش بمكة
https://treeads.net/movers-riyadh-company.html شركة نقل عفش بالرياض
https://treeads.net/all-movers-madina.html شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
https://treeads.net/movers-jeddah-company.html شركة نقل عفش بجدة
https://treeads.net/movers-taif.html شركة نقل عفش بالطائف
https://treeads.net/movers-dammam-company.html شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
https://treeads.net/movers-qatif.html شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف
https://treeads.net/movers-jubail.html شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل
https://treeads.net/movers-khobar.html شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
https://treeads.net/movers-ahsa.html شركة نقل عفش بالاحساء
https://treeads.net/movers-kharj.html شركة نقل عفش بالخرج
https://treeads.net/movers-khamis-mushait.html شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
https://treeads.net/movers-abha.html شركة نقل عفش بابها
https://treeads.net/movers-qassim.html شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم
https://treeads.net/movers-yanbu.html شركة نقل عفش بينبع
https://treeads.net/movers-najran.html شركة نقل عفش بنجران
https://treeads.net/movers-hail.html شركة نقل عفش بحائل
https://treeads.net/movers-buraydah.html شركة نقل عفش ببريدة
https://treeads.net/movers-tabuk.html شركة نقل عفش بتبوك
https://treeads.net/movers-dhahran.html شركة نقل عفش بالظهران
https://treeads.net/movers-rabigh.html شركة نقل عفش برابغ
https://treeads.net/movers-baaha.html شركة نقل عفش بالباحه
https://treeads.net/movers-asseer.html شركة نقل عفش بعسير
https://treeads.net/movers-mgmaa.html شركة نقل عفش بالمجمعة
https://treeads.net/movers-sharora.html شركة نقل عفش بشرورة
https://treeads.net/how-movers-furniture-yanbu.html كيفية نقل العفش بينبع
https://treeads.net/price-movers-furniture-yanbu.html اسعار نقل عفش بينبع
https://treeads.net/find-company-transfer-furniture-yanbu.html البحث عن شركات نقل العفش بينبع
https://treeads.net/transfer-furniture-khamis-mushit.html شركات نقل العفش بخميس مشيط
https://treeads.net/how-transfer-furniture-khamis-mushit.html كيفية نقل العفش بخميس مشيط
https://treeads.net/price-transfer-furniture-khamis-mushit.html اسعار نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
https://treeads.net/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D8%AC%D9%84%D9%8A-%D8%A8%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B7-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D8%AF%D8%A9.html شركة جلي بلاط بجدة
https://treeads.net/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%B8%D9%8A%D9%81-%D9%81%D9%84%D9%84-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D8%AF%D8%A9.html تنظيف فلل بجدة
https://treeads.net/company-transfer-furniture-jazan.html شركة نقل عفش بجازان
https://treeads.net/best-company-cleaning-jeddah-2020.html افضل شركة تنظيف بجدة
http://www.domyate.com/2019/08/27/transfer-furniture-north-riyadh/ نقل عفش شمال الرياض
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/05/movers-company-khamis-mushait/ شركات نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/05/10-company-transfer-furniture-khamis-mushait/ شركة نقل العفش بخميس مشيط
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/05/all-transfer-furniture-khamis-mushait/ شركات نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/05/best-company-transfer-furniture-khamis-mushit/ افضل شركات نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/05/company-transfer-furniture-khamis-mushit/ شركات نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط
http://www.domyate.com/category/%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D8%AC%D8%AF%D8%A9/ نقل عفش جدة
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/25/movers-furniture-from-jeddah-to-jordan/ نقل عفش من جدة الي الاردن
http://www.domyate.com/2019/10/03/price-cleaning-tanks-in-jeddah/ اسعار شركات تنظيف خزانات بجدة
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/25/movers-furniture-from-jeddah-to-egypt/ نقل عفش من جدة الي مصر
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/24/movers-furniture-from-jeddah-to-lebanon/ نقل عفش من جدة الي لبنان
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/22/%d8%a3%d9%86%d8%ac%d8%ad-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%a7%d8%ab%d8%a7%d8%ab-%d8%a8%d8%ac%d8%af%d8%a9/ شركات نقل اثاث بجدة
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/22/best-company-movers-jeddah/ افضل شركات نقل اثاث جدة
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/22/company-transfer-furniture-yanbu/ شركات نقل العفش بينبع
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/21/taif-transfer-furniture-company/ شركة نقل عفش في الطائف
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/21/%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4/ شركات نقل العفش
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/21/%d8%b7%d8%b1%d9%82-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4/ طرق نقل العفش
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/20/%d8%ae%d8%b7%d9%88%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%a7%d8%ab%d8%a7%d8%ab/ خطوات نقل العفش والاثاث
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/20/best-10-company-transfer-furniture/ افضل 10 شركات نقل عفش
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/20/%d9%83%d9%8a%d9%81-%d9%8a%d8%aa%d9%85-%d8%a7%d8%ae%d8%aa%d9%8a%d8%a7%d8%b1-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%a7%d8%ab%d8%a7%d8%ab/ اختيار شركات نقل العفش والاثاث
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/20/cleaning-company-house-taif/ شركة تنظيف منازل بالطائف
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/20/company-cleaning-home-in-taif/ شركة تنظيف شقق بالطائف
http://www.domyate.com/2019/09/20/taif-cleaning-company-villas/ شركة تنظيف فلل بالطائف
http://www.domyate.com/ شركة نقل عفش
http://www.domyate.com/2017/09/21/%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%B2%D9%8A%D9%86/ نقل العفش والتخزين
http://www.domyate.com/2016/07/02/transfer-furniture-dammam شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
http://www.domyate.com/2015/11/12/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%8A%D9%86%D8%A9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%86%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A9/ شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
http://www.domyate.com/2016/06/05/transfer-furniture-jeddah/ شركة نقل عفش بجدة
http://www.domyate.com/2017/08/10/movers-company-mecca-naql/ شركات نقل العفش بمكة
http://www.domyate.com/2016/06/05/transfer-furniture-mecca/ شركة نقل عفش بمكة
http://www.domyate.com/2016/06/05/transfer-furniture-taif/ شركة نقل عفش بالطائف
http://www.domyate.com/2016/06/05/transfer-furniture-riyadh/ شركة نقل عفش بالرياض
http://www.domyate.com/2016/06/05/transfer-furniture-yanbu/ شركة نقل عفش بينبع
http://www.domyate.com/category/%D8%AE%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%B2%D9%8A%D9%86/ نقل العفش والتخزين
http://www.domyate.com/2015/08/30/furniture-transport-company-in-almadinah/ شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
http://www.domyate.com/2016/06/05/transfer-furniture-medina-almonawara/ شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
http://www.domyate.com/2018/10/13/%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D8%AC%D8%AF%D8%A9-%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D9%85%D9%85%D9%8A%D8%B2%D8%A9/ نقل عفش بجدة
http://www.domyate.com/2016/07/22/%d8%a7%d8%b1%d8%ae%d8%b5-%d8%b4%d8%b1%d9%83%d8%a9-%d9%86%d9%82%d9%84-%d8%b9%d9%81%d8%b4-%d8%a8%d8%a7%d9%84%d9%85%d8%af%d9%8a%d9%86%d8%a9-%d8%a7%d9%84%d9%85%d9%86%d9%88%d8%b1%d8%a9/ ارخص شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
http://www.domyate.com/2016/07/25/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%82%D8%B5%D9%8A%D9%85/ شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم
http://www.domyate.com/2016/07/25/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%85%D9%8A%D8%B3-%D9%85%D8%B4%D9%8A%D8%B7/ شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
http://www.domyate.com/2016/07/25/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%A8%D9%87%D8%A7/ شركة نقل عفش بابها
http://www.domyate.com/2016/07/23/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84-%D8%B9%D9%81%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%AA%D8%A8%D9%88%D9%83/ شركة نقل عفش بتبوك